Monday, April 27, 2009

Google Image me, baby.

I realize that my addiction to looking up grotesque things on Google Image is probably abnormal and a sign of some sort of deeply buried insanity, and probably has a lot to do with the vivid nightmares I still seem to have, but you know, who cares.

Anyway, while rabbit-trailing along far enough to cross the path of "anencephaly," I eventually rested on Chernobyl.** I had, until today, limited knowledge of the Chernobyl catastrophe, other than the fact that it was nuclear, deadly, and why there are no pictures of me playing outside as a baby. But now I will go to sleep with the images of patients with cancer and birth defects as a result of Chernobyl burned into my retinas. Oh and this:

That would be the Earth, and that red cloud would be scary radioactive death being projected all over Europe thanks to the Soviet Union being borderline retarded. Do you see Germany, where my mom was hanging out in April 1986, two months pregnant with me? Of course you don't. That would require it to not be directly under a dark red, toxic death cloud. Awesome. Other maps show that radiation levels in Germany were at least 10% above normal until well past when I was born. More awesome.

I kind of wanted to end this entry with morbid pictures of what I was NOT born looking like as a praise to the universe for not being quite that cruel, but I apparently have enough soul left to not defile the pictures of Russian orphans with debilitating birth defects quite that much. But seriously, I really just want to be able to sleep tonight.

**Also, do not Google Image "anencephaly." Seriously. Just imagine the aliens from Mars Attacks without the glass head pieces and as babies. Let me help:

Lol. Plz let there be a hell, so that I might meet others like myself.

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